Dialogue Nights # 36: Goal Setting and Inner Dialogue

The first Dialogue Nights of 2026, held on January 30th, facilitated a process in which attendees were able to engage in both introspection and goal setting as they participated in what was called the “28-day challenge.” In this activity, the participants were able to envision concrete ways to move forward with their personal goals, which could include both goals they may have set for the new year or goals they have had on “the back-burner” that they want to make progress on now. But before getting to this main activity the Ikeda Center’s Preandra Noel led everyone through a series of activities designed to get their dialogue chops reactivated as 2026 commenced.

First, she opened with introductory thoughts on the purpose of Dialogue Nights, now in its ninth year at the Ikeda Center. The core motivation for Dialogue Nights, she said, is to respond to Center founder Daisaku Ikeda’s conviction that “’dialogue is the surest path to peace’ — so to be able to practice and realize that together with all of you is truly empowering!” The way the topics are chosen is also of note, said Preandra. “For example,” she said, “some things we think about are: ‘What is on the hearts and minds of the youth in our community? What conversations can we bring to the table to spark hope and possibility among us in unprecedented times?’ In particular, this Dialogue Nights drew inspiration from the Chinese Zodiac, which was transitioning from the Year of the Snake to the Year of the Horse. You may have noticed on social media, she said, that

people are talking about how we are going from a year of deep introspection and the shedding of truths and versions of ourselves that no longer serve us into a year of rebuilding and moving forward through action. This metaphor felt very timely with conversations we were having about how we want to refresh our experience of dialogue with our community this year.

To wrap up the introduction, Preandra noted how, when she thinks about Mr. Ikeda’s idea that “dialogue is the initial step in the creation of value” and “the starting point and unifying force in all human relationships,” she thinks about how “the first dialogue with myself” can have a profound effect on “everything else.”

Next, participants engaged in some warm-up activities, the first of which was to read aloud together the Center’s Dialogue Commitments and Dialogue Ground Rules for Genuine Dialogue. The commitments include such principles as “Avoid pre-judging and categorizing people,” and “Strive to bring out the best in oneself and others.” The ground rules include such actions as “We will embrace new perspectives with the openness that we may not always be right.” Other warm-up activities included a ten-minute Speed Connecting round on the evening’s main topic: We are already one month into the new year. Are you where you thought you would be (with your new year’s momentum)? Why or why not? What can you do to change that? Then, to get everyone’s bodies involved, they engaged in a fun This or That activity where participants move around the room according to their preferred option of everyday choices, for example, donuts or bagels.

Everyone then gathered to watch a Ted Talk called “Try Something New for 30 days,” which set the stage for the main activity of the night. Upon conclusion, Preandra said, “I hope this video inspired you to think about something you want to try for the next 30 days because…for this next activity, you will be creating a vision calendar for your own 28-day challenge!” After the video, and to set the stage for the vision calendar activity, Preandra led the assembled in silent, eyes-closed, inner dialogue/meditation on questions such as: Have you made goals for yourself this year and have you made progress on any of them? Why are these goals that you’re thinking about important to you? What are the barriers that are keeping you from achieving them if you haven’t yet?  With everyone in a beneficially contemplative space, Preandra shared instructions for filling out the vision calendars that each person had received, which they would use to respond to the question: What is something you want to challenge yourself to do for 30/28 days, and why? Among the pointers that Preandra offered were to be specific, start small, and to always be mindful of the “why” as they devised their plans. But“ultimately,” said Preandra, “just follow your heart because there is no wrong or right way to decorate your map!”

Following participants’ work on their calendars they gathered in small groups to discuss their visioning processes with emphasis on two prompts to guide their dialogues, offered in awareness that “as you go through the month of February, there may be times when accomplishing your goals will be difficult.” With that in mind, Preandra asked them to discuss the prompt: “What is the inner dialogue you need to have in order to feel like you can better achieve the goals that you listed in your 28-day challenge or your goals overall for the rest of the year?” And more than that, with everything going on in the world, said Preandra, “if we can really reflect on [ways] our inner dialogue [can] help us not only bring about peace within our own life, but in our community, that would be great.” The other prompt was a quote from Mr. Ikeda on the essential role of inner dialogue. “When we stop looking at ourselves,” said Ikeda,

when we no longer question ourselves, we become self-righteous and dogmatic. Our discourse becomes a one-way street. We cannot hear others and real dialogue becomes impossible. The kind of dialogue that can create peace with others must start with an open and earnest inner dialogue.

After the small group dialogues, the full group reconvened for an “Open Mic” session in which participants could share thoughts on their goal-setting and visioning process, but also, as Preandra phrased it, “just any thoughts you’re having tonight.” Among the themes that emerged from their comments were the ways that dialogue can aid both in self-belief and in the opening of hearts. Here are some highlights:

• “I just feel like my heart has opened, I feel tender hearted in a way that is hard to feel when I’m like consuming the news on a daily basis. I feel like my heart becomes closed and hard, but here I’ve been so reminded that everyone has things they’re thinking about, working on, striving towards.”
• “This is my first time at one of these [and] I didn’t really know what we were going to talk about and [felt] kind of insecure … [but] everyone started opening up and everyone started feeling a lot more human and realizing that everyone is working on their own things and struggling with their own things. It just made me feel a lot more at peace with myself knowing that I’m not alone in that sense… . I hope that I remember this and take this forward with me.” 
• “I realize coming here [that] you’re really incentivized and rewarded for being yourself. But why do I feel so free when I walk into these premises versus say outside? Because it takes an effort to just be your organic self [which the Center facilitates]. Coming here the first time, I felt like as if I was carrying a hundred-pound bag and somebody just took it off my shoulders. [When I think about acting in the community to promote] people’s own inner self and authenticity, I think that the ripple effect of peace can definitely take place even though it’ll take time. Also, [I’ve] been coming here for a year, and I realized it’s not random, that you just start talking about stuff [without structure]. I feel unconsciously this feeling of feeling lighter sticks the more frequently you come, [and] then [you] start seeking it and replicating it.”

As the evening’s activities wound down, Preandra reflected on the insights offered by the participants and offered some thoughts to encourage them to continue pursuing their inner and outer peacebuilding dialogues. First, she said, “we only really have power over ourselves.” With that awareness, we can then “keep replenishing and remembering that the choice we make to be the better person [and] to share positivity, will, in turn, attract others who are doing the same.” And to close, she thanked everyone for showing up to “experience together” the activities and dialogues in pursuit of personal authenticity and the development of the confidence to achieve one’s goals.